How Basing Self-Worth On Financial Success Can Be Detrimental
In 2023, there was a wave of layoffs in most job markets. Unemployment rates rocketed. Inflation and economic shifts seemed to get the best of us.
I was no exception.
I was unemployed for two and a half months. Making $0.
But I still had to spend on basic needs to sustain my life, of course (living on savings, how lucky I was).
Imagine, if my self-worth was really based on financial success, I was probably worth… nothing. Or even less than nothing, because I only spent and didn’t earn.
But was I really worth nothing just because I wasn’t making money? Absolutely not! Even if you don’t know me, I assume you wouldn’t conclude that anyone on this Earth is worth nothing.
But I bet some of us do think that about ourselves, when we hit financial hardship or feel like we’re not earning “enough” money, because we base our self-worth on financial success.
And that mindset is not healthy at all.
While having financial goals is a good motivation (like achieving financial freedom to live more freely, retiring your parents early to give them a better quality of life, or even solving world problems and giving back to the community), pursuing money just to boost self-esteem is detrimental.
Why?
Because financial success is subjective.
Everyone has their own definition of financial success. Yet, we constantly look at each other’s financial circumstances to determine whether we’re successful enough.
We compare our finances to others', and we might take a self-esteem hit when others are doing better.
If someone is obsessed with the idea that financial success strongly proves their personal worth, they might look at people their age who earn billions (by whatever means) and start to feel bad for themselves. They may even wish others didn’t earn that much, because the wider the income or savings gap, the more of a failure they seem to be.
It could also become a never-ending cycle of earning more. Because once we earn a certain amount (that may already be a lot) there’s always a higher number to chase.
We may be trapped in this race, with no endpoint, never knowing when it’s enough.
In the pursuit of money, we neglect other aspects of life.
In The Great Gatsby, despite all the glamour and immense wealth displayed at the grand parties he throws, Gatsby is ultimately shown standing alone at one of his parties, isolated from his guests. His attempt to prove his financial success ends up leaving him emotionally distant and disconnected from others.
In Click, an American comedy-drama released in 2006, the protagonist is a workaholic who decides to skip all the time spent with his family just so he can enjoy the moments when he gets a promotion, when he becomes a CEO and a “successful” man by social standards. But at what cost? His marriage. The time he could have spent with his father before he passed away. A happy family with his kids. And a lot of regrets.
In The Greatest Showman (2017), our protagonist also keeps chasing financial success to prove his worth, risking the relationships he has with his family and the community he built with people who adore him. Luckily, he stops in time and realises what truly matters in his life.
In this quest for the next success, or the next million, we unconsciously sacrifice time with family, friends, and romantic partners. We somehow start to see a catch-up, a dinner, a movie night, a gathering… as a waste of time that doesn’t bring any monetary value.
And then, we miss out on all the important milestones, the beautiful moments with the people we love that could have added so much joy, happiness, and meaning to our lives.
Now enter isolation, anxiety, and loneliness. (Well, at least that’s what the characters in the movies above and research findings reveal.)
It’s crucial to remember our true values and self-worth (especially at critical times)
Coming back to my story at the beginning, yes, I had a financial challenge at that time. But I didn’t let it define me or my worth.
I couldn’t let myself break down or blame myself. I had a job to find. And letting myself believe I wasn’t worthy or good enough would have only made the situation worse.
What did I do at that time?
I kept reminding myself that my worth was not based on how much I made.
It was based on the fact that I exist.
Surprised? You shouldn’t be.
Even now, with a full-time job, I don’t believe my worth is based on my income. And I don’t think anyone’s is.
Our worth is based on who we are on the inside, our growth, our efforts to make the world a better place, the love we give and receive, our kindness, our compassion…
So go make millions if you’d like, or just make enough to live. No matter what, only you define your worth, not the amount of money you make.
“It’s not that we exist because we are valuable, but rather we become valuable because we exist.”