8 People/Places that contributed to me being the person I am today

Personal Journeys

Aug 5

Man! It’s been three awesome years writing articles for Calm Collective Asia. I still remember my first piece on Building the Resilience Muscle, published back in 2022. It was a nerve-wracking experience putting my words out there on the internet. I was constantly on edge, wondering what my editor and friends would think.

Fast forward to today, and I’ve written articles like:

I fell in love with writing pieces that spark curiosity, reflection, and deeper understanding of the world around us. Researching these articles became my way of exploring through conversations, observations, and constantly shifting perspectives.

But lately, I’ve felt something shift. Not in a dramatic or heavy way, more like a quiet exhale. A reminder that even creativity needs rest. Silence, too, is part of the process.

So, this will be my final article for a while. I’m taking a step back to let the next season unfold in its own time.

Before I go, I want to leave something more personal than usual: a map of the people and places that made me who I am. Not just in obvious ways, but in subtle, meaningful ones, the kind that shape how I see the world, write about it, and hold space for others.
These people and places didn’t just influence me, they grounded me. They became my sanctuary, especially in moments when my mental health felt fragile. In their presence, I found safety, perspective, and the gentle reminder that I don’t have to navigate everything alone. Through their support, I learned to care for myself better, to reach out when the weight got heavy, and to build friendships that held me steady when the storm came. Gratitude doesn’t quite capture it; it’s more like emotional infrastructure. They are the reason I am still standing, still growing.

The 4 Fascinating People Who Molded Me

Since stepping into the world of mental health advocacy in 2021, I’ve had the privilege of meeting so many people who’ve made a lasting impression on me. From volunteer programs to community events, I found myself surrounded by folks who were passionate, kind, and deeply human.

Some encounters happened during the very first cohort of the Mindline Fellowship Youth Programme, where I met fellow volunteers determined to break the stigma around mental health. Others came through the inspiring Calm Collective Asia community, or while volunteering as the lead slide designer for the Singapore Psychological Society’s first-ever Symposium.

But I also found meaningful connections in unexpected places: at Stranger’s Conversations (a cozy space at 195 Pearl’s Hill Terrace), chatting on Discord, and even on Slowly, the penpal app I still use today.

When I look back and reread old messages or reflect on the people who’ve stayed in my heart, four names always rise to the top. These are the friends who, alongside my parents and my boss, helped shape the way I think and the person I’ve grown into.

1. Janice – “An Energizer Ball and a Welfare Nurse in Disguise”

I first met Janice at a potluck party hosted by Calm Collective Asia. She was lively, bubbly, full of energy, and deeply curious about others. That curiosity made me want to be friends with her.

The first time we walked down Orchard Road together, I could feel the spark of her energy. She stopped to notice little things along the way, asking questions about everything. I loved that. Her curiosity mirrored mine, and instead of making her feel like she had to tone it down, I encouraged it. That moment created something unspoken between us: freedom. She once told me she hadn’t felt that kind of permission to be herself in a long time.

But the real moment that sealed our bond came when I was caught in the aftermath of a difficult family fight. I was emotionally shaken, and when I reached out, Janice didn’t just send a quick “hope you’re okay.” She checked in, consistently. She encouraged me, gently but firmly, to see a therapist. I was hesitant, but her support stayed with me. A year later, I finally sought help. It was through therapy that I learned to manage my ADHD with both medication and guidance, and I started to feel like myself again.

Janice’s presence taught me that true friends don’t just show up during good times, they stay through the messy parts, too. And for that, she’ll always be one of the people I’ll never forget.

2. Mimi – “An International Bestie I’ll Never Forget (and an Energizer Ball in a Different Way)”

Mimi and I started as penpals on the Slowly app (which I still recommend to anyone wanting to try penpalling!). At first, I thought she reminded me of Janice. But the more we wrote, the more I realised, Mimi is her own kind of person.

So what makes Mimi, Mimi?

She’s endlessly curious, always wanting to learn something new.
She introduces me to European food combos I’ve never even heard of, and still does!
She’s super open with communication, something I really value.

One moment I’ll never forget was when we were working on the article Making Healthy Friendships in the Online World. In it, I included this line: “Before I met Mimi, I was going through a severe case of anxiety that made me fearful of online and offline interactions.”

She asked me about it, not out of nosiness, but with warmth and care. Her kindness during that exchange made me tear up. It reminded me how powerful it is when someone wants to understand you, not just reply to you.

That was the moment I thought: This is such an awesome connection. I found an international penpal who’s so uniquely herself, and I feel safe and inspired around her. I still keep one of her handmade letters as a memento of our friendship.

3. Amewsed – “The Energizer Ball Stabilizer in Her Own Awesome Way”

I met Amewsed at a Discord group outing to a sushi place with an affordable salmon sashimi promo. I was mid-convo with a friend when she walked in, in a full yukata. Top to bottom. Even traditional slippers. My jaw dropped.

I’d never seen someone in Singapore wear a yukata so boldly, and to a sushi restaurant, no less (which made it feel even more fitting). Two thoughts hit me:

This person is definitely unique, maybe I should talk to her.
That outfit is so cool, I want to be like her one day.

She started sharing her knowledge about food and clothes, and I was hooked. I messaged her the next day via Telegram, and we’ve been friends ever since.

One unforgettable moment was when she helped me shop for casual clothes at Uniqlo. As we talked about skin tones, colour palettes, and shirt cuts, I realised: she wasn’t just knowledgeable. She was grounding.

What do I mean by that?

I tend to get excited, really excited, when I’m curious about something. I’ll ask a flurry of questions. But with Amewsed, she responds in this calm, measured way that brings me back to earth. She has a way of stabilizing my “Energizer” energy without dimming it.

She also has an incredible eye for patterns. In one of her handwritten letters, she asked me, “I’ve noticed a pattern: you seem driven to keep becoming a better version of yourself. Is there a reason behind that?”

That question made me stop. Reflect. And realise: I do love challenging myself. I love learning. And I love evolving.

I still keep her letters. And I’ll never forget the role she played in helping me grow more grounded and aware of who I am.

4. Jessie – “The Gentle Stabilizer Who Knew How to Calm My Mind”

I met Jessie through Stranger Conversations, a lovely hangout spot at 195 Pearl’s Hill Terrace. At the time, I was drafting an article about third spaces and mental health (though I ended up shelving it because the South China Morning Post beat me to it with an excellent piece).

She walked in carrying her own coffee beans, colourful fabrics, and a full coffee-brewing setup, experiment for a workshop she wants to run in that future.We started chatting over coffee, and eventually discovered that we were both active in the mental health space, me as a volunteer, her as a professional. That shared passion lit something up, and before we knew it, we were swapping stories, insights, and contacts.

One moment I’ll never forget: I was feeling really anxious about how I communicate. I tend to overthink my writing and messages, and I decided to be honest about that with her.

She responded gently, in her own calm way. Her words were thoughtful and grounded in her experience. She helped me feel safe and understood, not judged or dismissed.

That’s when I thought: Wow, she’s not only deeply kind, she’s also very good at what she does. And it made me want to keep learning from her, to keep building that friendship.

I even save some of her messages as reminders, to reflect on, learn more about myself and appreciate her words more.

The 4 Places That Contributed a Lot to My Development

While continuing this article… a major epiphany hit me.

I realized that while people may not always be around due to their own goals, commitments, and ambitions, there are some places, outside of home, that played a huge role in shaping who I am today. Each space had its own vibe, etiquette, and culture that helped me grow in different ways.

Here are some of those places that left a mark on me:

Calm Collective Asia
Stranger Conversations at 195 Pearl’s Hill Terrace
Yale-NUS College
Discord servers, Good Morning SG and SG Tavern

So… how exactly did these places shape me?

1. Calm Collective Asia – The mental health org that taught me to think from different angles

The way I came across Calm Collective Asia was quite random, but memorable.

Back in 2021, during my time as part of the first batch of Mindline’s Youth Fellowship Program, one of the teams was researching mental health communities in Singapore. That’s when Calm Collective Asia came up. The name caught my attention, but what really stood out? They had been featured on a US news channel!

I thought: Wait, how did a local org end up on international news?

That curiosity led me to sign up as a volunteer. I was offered two roles: writer or illustrator. Both sounded cool, but I went with writing; I wanted to explore how I could develop my own voice.

Honestly, I was super nervous. I remember texting a bunch of people: How do I even start? Is there a format? What if I mess this up? But with the support of the founders and the community, I slowly figured out my writing style. I gained confidence and also learned how to think deeper and write from the heart.

One moment really stood out:

I had to take a break for about three months due to burnout and some personal low moods. During that time, Alyssa, the co-founder, regularly checked in on me. I told her I felt bad for stepping away.

And she said this:

“Please take as much time as you need to rest and recuperate. It’s completely okay to step back sometimes. We often go through a lot but forget to give ourselves time. That can be heavy, and you deserve space to breathe.”

That hit me.

I thought: This is what a supportive community really looks like.

Calm Collective Asia also welcomed quirky ideas, like when I suggested doing a birthday video montage, and it actually happened! Later, they even formed a Social Leads team to organise events like book clubs and social gatherings. Being part of all that? Super meaningful.

2. Stranger Conversations @ 195 Pearl’s Hill Terrace – The place that invites curiosity

You might be wondering, “What kind of place is this?”

Well… you're in for a unique one. 😄

To the outside world, it’s a space where events and conversations happen. But to me, it’s so much more. It’s:

A third place in Singapore
A cozy social space
A comfort zone
A bit like a child entering Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory
And a sandwich where each bite gives you a different experience!

(I know those last two might sound a bit unexpected, but there’s a certain magic to them that I’ll explain in a second 😄)

The Willy Wonka part?- That’s how it felt walking in, like I’d stepped into a curious, colorful world where anything could happen, and everyone had a story to tell.

The sandwich?- That’s the beauty of the space, every visit feels different. Some days it’s deep conversations about life, other days it’s light banter and laughter. But each one adds something new.

The first time I entered the space was for a Fishbowl conversation about philosophy. I was immediately drawn in by the vibes, the setup, and especially the people. The discussion reignited my interest in philosophy, like exploring Stoicism and how it connects with everyday life.

Over time, Sundays became “Strangers Day” for me. I’d do my errands in the morning, then head down for the sessions. It became a routine, something I looked forward to. If I didn’t go, I genuinely felt like I was missing out on something meaningful.

Eventually, I became a Minder (a caretaker and community builder for the space), and I also gained a close friend, Jessie. That space taught me that curiosity isn’t just about asking questions. It’s about showing up, being present, and being open to new connections.

3. Yale-NUS College – A workplace that helped me grow more open-minded

When I was working at Yale-NUS College helping with printing operations, I didn’t expect it to have such a deep impact on me. But it ended up being one of those places that changed how I see myself and the world.

Here’s what happened during my time there:

I opened up about my medical condition to my boss, which led to a stronger connection and trust
The culture was incredibly open, and it helped me break out of my shy shell. I became more confident, both at work and outside.
I even ran a comic book printing workshop for staff and students!
I received an award from my company for being an exemplary staff member.
I picked up fun nicknames, including one I really love: “Hello PG!” (short for Printer Guy 😄)

Yale-NUS wasn’t just a school. It was a third space where you could explore ideas like mental health, consent, and even how notifications affect our brains. It got me thinking deeply about life.

If I hadn’t been placed there, I don’t think I’d be as confident or open as I am today.

4. Discord servers – The online space that reminded me I’m not alone

This one might sound strange at first. How could a bunch of online chatrooms on a gaming app shape who I am?

But Discord wasn’t just "chatting online" for me. It became a place of connection, especially during nights when I felt like I didn’t have anyone to talk to, or just needed a space to be.

Sometimes I’d sit quietly in a voice channel, listening to someone explain a Japanese folklore or seeing people play Helldivers 2 (awesome game, by the way). Other times, I’d scroll through vent channels and read posts that described exactly what I was feeling, but couldn’t put into words.

And that’s when it hit me: even in a chaotic world, there are people out there who understand.

Of course, the internet has its downsides. But these Discord servers? They were spaces where people actually checked in, shared honestly, and built real friendships. Strangers became friends, and sometimes, even better ones than those offline.

So… Ibrahim, what’s the connection between people and places in shaping who you are?

Here’s what I’ve come to realize:

People come and go. But the places we spend time in, physical or digital, leave echoes behind. And often, it’s the combination of both people and place that shapes us.

Every one of these places became meaningful because of the people in them. And every person I met became a turning point because of where we met, the vibe of the space, and what it brought out of us.

People teach us.

Places hold us.

Together?

They mold us.

So if you ask me how I became the person I am today,

The answer isn’t just who I met.

It’s also where I met them.

But Ibrahim… What is the takeaway from reading this article?

To be really honest with you guys, there's only two phrases that encapsulate this whole article:

1. Anaïs Nin (a French-born American diarist, essayist, novelist, and writer of short stories and erotica.)

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”

Meaning: Curiosity widens life, but only if matched with courage.

2. Socrates (via Plato)

Ὁ δὲ ἀνεξέταστος βίος οὐ βιωτὸς ἀνθρώπῳ

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Meaning: a call to live bravely through inquiry.

To step out of your comfort zone is to be brave with what you are doing for yourself. Being brave is awesome and allows you to answer the questions that are pondering in your mind.

Without bravery, you will be stuck in an endless loop of doubt and inquiry. So be brave and go forth in your adventures, life is awesome when you go above your doubts!

Let me break the fourth wall for a moment and say this:

If you’ve got any feedback or thoughts, feel free to drop me a message at this email of mine: goper52@gmail.com.

I’d genuinely love to hear what you think. 💌

Mohamed Ibrahim Shah