Therapist Red Flags
Therapists play an essential role in helping us navigate key moments in our lives. They support our emotional growth and provide a space to reflect, heal, and make sense of our experiences. But like any relationship, the therapeutic relationship needs to be healthy and aligned. Knowing what red flags to look out for can help you decide whether your therapist is the right fit for you.
Here are a few examples of red flags to look out for:
Mismatch in Specialty
Therapists come from a range of educational and professional backgrounds, and not all are trained to address the same types of issues. While most therapists can support clients with general concerns like anxiety or low mood, more specific challenges—such as trauma, immigration stress, or complex relationship dynamics—often require targeted expertise or training.
For example, a therapist specialising in eating disorders may not be well-equipped to work with someone seeking support for marital conflict. Similarly, individuals coping with trauma might benefit more from a therapist trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a therapy specifically designed to help process and reduce the distress associated with traumatic memories. EMDR uses guided eye movements and structured protocols to help clients reframe and desensitize traumatic experiences, often leading to quicker symptom relief. In contrast, a therapist who primarily uses CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) may focus more on identifying and changing thought patterns and behaviors, which can be effective but may not directly address the underlying trauma as efficiently. Both approaches have value, but aligning the therapy style with the client’s needs can significantly impact recovery. Therapists may also choose different modalities based on the issue at hand, recognizing that therapy is not one size fits all.
Additionally, a therapist’s interest and comfort in treating your specific issues play an important role in the effectiveness of therapy. Therapy is most effective when the approach matches the client's specific needs. If your issues evolve and your therapist’s expertise no longer aligns with your needs, they should assist in connecting you with a more appropriate provider. Failing to do so may hinder your progress and, in some cases, cause more harm than good.
Violation of Privacy
Confidentiality is a cornerstone of the therapeutic relationship. What you share with your therapist should remain private, with limited exceptions. These exceptions- such as the duty to report imminent risk of harm to yourself or others, or case discussions in supervision- should be clearly explained at the start of the therapeutic process. Therapists are also responsible for protecting your data securely and providing a private, confidential setting for sessions, whether in-person or online. If a therapist shares your information without consent or fails to set clear expectations about confidentiality, it undermines the trust needed for therapy to be effective. Transparency around these boundaries helps to protect both the client and the therapeutic process.
Disrespecting Boundaries
The therapist-client relationship should remain strictly professional. A therapist must focus on the client’s goals and avoid crossing personal or ethical lines. This includes refraining from intrusive questioning that lacks clinical relevance, avoiding inappropriate personal disclosures, and maintaining a clear separation between professional roles and personal engagement. Boundary violations can also occur through excessive or unsolicited contact outside of sessions, comments that feel overly personal or judgmental, or any behavior that shifts the focus away from the client’s well-being. When boundaries are not respected, it compromises the safety of the therapeutic space and may negatively impact the client’s progress. While the nature of therapeutic relationships can vary depending on the client’s needs and preferences, and some clients may experience a stronger sense of rapport or trust with their therapist, maintaining professional boundaries is essential to ensure safety and trust. A therapist who maintains clear boundaries helps clients feel secure, respected, and free to explore sensitive topics without fear of judgment or inappropriate interference.
Cultural Insensitivity
Culture plays a significant role in shaping how people view mental health, cope with stress, and seek support. A therapist who lacks cultural awareness may unintentionally invalidate important aspects of a client’s identity. This can happen through dismissive remarks, stereotypical assumptions, or failure to consider how culture influences relationships, emotions, and values. Therapists should approach every client with openness and humility, recognising that cultural understanding is not fixed or automatic- it requires listening and learning. A culturally insensitive therapist may overlook the impact of systemic issues, family expectations, or community beliefs, leading the client to feel misunderstood or alienated. For example, a well-meaning suggestion by a non-Asian therapist for an Asian client to move out of the family home in response to familial tensions may be perceived as overlooking deep-rooted cultural values around Asian family obligations. Research published by the National Library of Medicine posits that Western psychotherapy tends to emphasize direct coping, such as expressing emotions or addressing problems head-on. In contrast, interdependent cultures, including many Asian communities, often prefer indirect coping strategies like emotional restraint to preserve group harmony and save face, which is a value especially significant among Asian Americans. Cultural competence in therapy doesn't require shared backgrounds, but it does require respect, empathy, and the willingness to engage with perspectives different from one’s own. Because cultural sensitivity can look different for everyone, it’s often helpful to openly discuss these differences early on to ensure that therapist and client are on the same page.
Excessive Self-Disclosure
Therapy should always center around the client—their goals, experiences, and growth. While occasional and thoughtful self-disclosure from a therapist can help build rapport or illustrate a point, it should be used sparingly and with purpose. When a therapist frequently shifts the focus to their own experiences or personal life, it disrupts the balance of the therapeutic space. Excessive self-disclosure can lead to role confusion and diminish the client’s sense of being heard and supported. Clients should feel that the session is a space fully dedicated to their needs, not their therapist’s. Some therapeutic modalities, such as humanistic or relational approaches, may incorporate more self-disclosure as part of the process, but even then, it should serve the client’s needs, not the therapist’s.
Unsustainable Arrangements
Therapy can be life-changing, but it also needs to be sustainable. If therapy becomes financially or logistically difficult to maintain, it may create additional stress rather than relief. It’s important that therapy fits realistically into your lifestyle, including your budget and schedule. If you find a therapist you work well with but the cost is high, don’t hesitate to ask about sliding scale options. Not all therapists can accommodate this, but asking can open the door to alternatives. Other accessible options include therapists-in-training, university counselling centers, or digital therapy platforms like BetterHelp or Intellect. Affordability shouldn’t be a barrier to support. Exploring different routes can help ensure you receive care that is both effective and manageable long-term. Regardless of the route you take, always ensure your therapist is ethical and properly credentialed- your safety and well-being come first.
Lack of Progress
Therapy should be a space for meaningful change and growth. If you find yourself attending session after session without a sense of progress, it may be time to re-evaluate. Lack of movement can result from unclear goals, a disconnect between you and your therapist, or shifts in your life that haven’t been addressed in therapy. Therapists should work collaboratively with clients to define and track goals. If therapy feels stagnant, bringing it up with your therapist is important. Discussing what's working and what isn’t can lead to a more effective therapeutic experience. Progress looks different for everyone, but therapy should never feel like going in circles indefinitely. A good therapist creates a space that feels safe, respectful, and empowering. Nonetheless, therapists are human too, and no therapeutic relationship is perfect. If something feels off, it’s okay to speak up. Addressing concerns directly in therapy can sometimes be a turning point- either strengthening the relationship or helping you decide if it’s time to move on.
Ultimately, therapy should be a place where you feel seen, heard, and supported as you work through your challenges. You deserve care that honours your values, respects your boundaries, and helps you move forward in your life.
References:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/basics/therapy/8-red-flags-watch-in-therapy
https://www.verywellmind.com/8-signs-of-a-bad-therapist-when-you-should-move-on-5194900
https://blog.opencounseling.com/can-therapy-do-me-harm/