Dear Asian Girl: You Are Already Enough

Dear beautiful you,

Yes, you!

And you read that right: you are beautiful, inside and out.

If that’s hard to believe, then what a cruel world we live in, hey? I feel you.

Sometimes, we look at ourselves and think, “I’m not enough.” 

Why?

Maybe it started when you were a kid. There was pressure to always be at the top of the class, to do everything perfectly to earn love, praise, and approval. Maybe you were compared to the neighbour’s kids who always got high scores, or to cousins and siblings who seemed to be doing better at everything. And no matter what you did, it felt like there was always room for improvement.

Were you ever told to be quiet? To be polite, not to raise your voice? To avoid taking up too much space? To always consider others first? “Behave nicely, don’t lose face, don’t cause a scene.” We’re expected to be docile, to shrink ourselves so others can be comfortable. We’re told to accept criticism with a smile, and to change accordingly.

And girls, please tell me you haven’t felt the pressure to be “pretty” just to be seen. Because I’ve felt it, and it’s terrible. “Pretty” meant a pale complexion, flawless skin, a sharp jawline, double eyelids and straight, small noses. On TV, from China to Korea to India, the actresses and models we see are slim, with slender waists and long, thin legs. That’s the beauty standard we often feel we need to chase.

And then, when placed in an international environment, you are pressured to be twice as good just to be noticed. While others are free to explore or even fail without judgment, you're constantly aware of being evaluated. You carry not only your name but the weight of every stereotype about Asian girls. People assume you’ll be quiet and compliant. That you’ll be hardworking, but never the leader. That you’re good with numbers, but not creativity. That you're pretty, but only in a “typical Asian” way. So you work harder, but still wonder if you're truly being taken seriously.

It feels like we’re never quite right.
Not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not anything enough.
Too loud. Too quiet.
Too smart. Too emotional.
Too reserved. Too overwhelming.
Too confident. Too shy...

The list goes on.

But you know what? Just because we don’t fit into the mould others created for us, just because we’re not “perfect” by society’s standards, doesn’t mean we aren’t enough.

We are enough, simply because we exist. 

In fact, you are already more than enough, and beautiful in every way that’s uniquely yours.

Your soul carries dreams, ambitions, passion and the melodies of your favourite songs. Your heart overflows with love and compassion, maybe not for a particular someone, but maybe for your little furry friends. Your mind is a library of ideas and imagination, no matter how wild they may be. And your body, your incredible body, is doing its best every day to carry you through life.

You may not realise it, but your existence might be the reason someone else finds the strength to keep going. It might be your friend, whom you’ve stood by through life’s highs and lows. An acquaintance, inspired by your quiet resilience. A younger sibling who looks up to you with wide eyes and admiration. Even a stranger, whose life you touched without even knowing.

But more than anything, I want you to remember this: You are enough just as you are. You are enough in your joy, in your pain, in your struggles, in your efforts. You are enough in your quiet moments, in your loudest laughter, and in every breath you take.

You don’t need to be the best in the room to be worthy. You don’t need to meet the traditional “Asian beauty standards” to be seen. You don’t need to follow a certain career path to be valuable.

You are not here to meet expectations.
You are here to be you. And that is more than enough.

I see you, no matter where you're from in Asia, no matter your skin tone, whether it’s yellow, brown, or fair. From girl to girl, I hope you never forget:

You are already enough.

With love,
From an unapologetically Asian girl ❤️

P.S. That signoff was inspired by a podcast called “Unapologetically Asian,” created by two amazing Asian girls. I’m still learning to be unapologetic myself, but I’m working on it, I promise.