Overcoming Imposter syndrome along the career ladder
When I received the news that I was transferring from Yale-NUS College to a law firm located in the central part of Singapore with a newer and upgraded role, I was excited to be part of this change. Months later, in the new environment, the happiness from my face had faded and was completely replaced by bouts of anxiety and negative self-talk.
Every day when I finished my work shift, I would question a lot of things about myself and blame myself. Thoughts such as these prevailed:
”Why am I slow?”
”Why do I feel incompetent?”
”Why do I feel like I'm not cut out to be part of the team?”
I had sought advice from previous bosses and friends about this troubling reality, which had never occurred to me when I was doing the job I loved for four years, up until this moment.
I tried to improve and adopt a completely new approach to working, but I was still met with the same old thoughts. Until one fine day, the thought that led me to accept reality as it had brought up:
“I am quitting.”
And I was okay with that idea that led me to that penultimate thought, as I was already in such a bad state when it comes to competencies.
BUT… There was a moment when I finally found myself back to my normal self. The confident, chatty, gung-ho character that I had established in my early work days at this company.
What led to that moment, you may ask? There is this one powerful phrase, “Don't think about what you SHOULD do, think about what you could do.”
As there are a lot of things to unpack in this article, I will use this skeletal framework as a guide to understanding this topic.
Background context about me and my work
What happened before the imposter syndrome kicked in.
What happened during the imposter syndrome phase.
How I overcame it and the powerful lessons I learnt from it
So, let's begin the story!
About me and my work
I am diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) to which I have summarised in a more succinct way:
The inability to regulate emotions easily as they come, pay attention to information, and retain information.
Effects of the condition I experience:
Fluctuation of emotions (overexcitement, nervousness, anger, sadness and more) and the inability to stabilise them.
Inability to pay attention and retain information for longer periods of time.
Prone to overthinking even on the simplest of things.
The effects can take place at any point in time, but their severity is environment-sensitive.
What do I mean by environment-sensitive? If I am placed in a high-pressure environment with loads of tasks to do and deadlines to keep simultaneously, the effect will be more pronounced and my work productivity will be severely affected. But if I am placed in a low-pressure environment with fewer tasks taking place simultaneously, the effect is less noticeable and work productivity is less affected.
Thus leads to another segment when managing condition called medication management and work mentality.
I would say the relationship between both work mentality, medication management and work environment is like a cause and effect, whereby if the work environment is hectic, work mentality is more likely to take a mentality of being sharper at work, and since a hectic work environment causes more severe effects for my condition, medication management means that I would need to take meds every day.
The Job
I would say that my job is quite a niche one.
In essence, my official title is “Document Management Officer” but in layman's speak, we call it printer support personnel. Many of the people I met have marvelled that there is such a job in what people would say is a “Sunset Industry” (which I don't believe is true, as almost every business does rely on printing even in the age of modern technology).
My job revolves around helping customers with printing and other duties so that they can focus on their own core competencies. Also, this job can differ from organisation to organisation, depending on which company we’re working with.
What happened before the imposter syndrome kicked in
In both NUS and Yale-NUS College, I was tasked with ensuring that the printers around the designated areas had enough paper, toner and were working so that they could be used by students and staff 24/7.
I was also tasked with doing a lot of self-learning using various apps that have printing capabilities (Adobe Acrobat, Microsoft Office applications, Autocad and more) in various machines (machines that run on Windows, Apple machines and even Ubuntu machines). I also had to learn some basic networking stuff (setting up connectivity for Printer to computer, pinging IP addresses to the machine to check if they are still active and more)
The miscellaneous part can range from:
Giving a class in printing booklets to over 30 staff and students
Installing machines for users to try
Showcasing our printing works at one of the workshops during the Singapore Art Week festival.
It was there that I had achieved a lot of great things for the company, the client and its community (students and staff are happy to use our printers), and myself in terms of leaving a legacy and having high skill.
I was given a fun and unique nickname known as PG! (Printer guy in short) by one of my colleagues as they saw how I explained to customers about printing issues. Even my boss was impressed by my abilities in that area that he gave me an award for being the best worker.
Life working in these places was fun, exciting and a low-stress environment (working solo, no micromanaging, I was given time to try and establish a standard way of doing things at the highest level and more). My work mentality everyday was to do the best that I can within my creative means and set myself a standard. These allowed me to flourish well for the past four years.
This also led me to not be so reliant on medication, as I could just let my creative mind do the work.
I even received numerous compliments from customers due to my service, which really exemplified the concept of going above and beyond in my own way.
One fine day, a normal day became one of the most unique days.
I was saddened by the closure of Yale-NUS College as I had spent an awesome time there. Then, I got a phone call from my boss stating that I was to be “promoted” to serve in a bigger team rather than working solo. The details of this call were so shocking and exciting that I had trouble processing the information received from my boss.
All I knew after I had fully understood the new details was:
It was going to be a giant step in learning new stuff
It was also going to be an extremely hard period for me, as I had to adapt to a newer way of working which was working in a team
There were a lot of indirect expectations put on me heading into this newer role
I am going to be working in a law firm (this already puts pressure as I view the working environment to be fast-paced and hectic)
Little did I know at that point in time, it was going to be a hellish period as the imposter syndrome kicked in around a couple of weeks into the new role, and I started to feel not confident in myself.
What happened during the imposter syndrome phase
The two factors that pulled my confidence down was how I approached my work mentality and took medicine in a whole new environment.
So let's rewind back to before stepping into the new workplace.
Hours after the phone call from my boss, I started to research about the company and some tips about how different this new role is compared to the old role. Once I finished my research, I started to feel prepared and decided to create these thoughts to follow.
“Let's reset whatever we have learnt, as this is a completely new environment.”
“Let's continue to adopt a mentality where making mistakes is normal and doing work at own pace is normal.”
“Let's also try to not take meds as well as we can through muscle memory and understanding behind each mistake.”
Initially, these thoughts sounded good to proceed but over the weeks in a new place, mistakes kept piling up. I was super distracted at work which led to wrong information, and I kept learning at a slow pace, which wasn't ideal in the situation at the law firm.
Managers began to be concerned and asked me why my performance was slumping to lower levels as compared to before. I was brought in to this role via recommendation, and instead of months being given months to learn, I had to be fast-tracked to learn everything within a few weeks as the team lead was going on a long leave. So that added even more pressure to the work environment.
I began feeling inadequate and having the same thoughts stated in the first few opening paragraphs of this article. It was only later that I learnt there was a name for this pattern of thinking: imposter syndrome.
I started asking a few friends and bosses on how to get over this psychological effect that took hold on me.
Some said to try to get through it and try to find my mojo back
Some said maybe try a stronger medication (something like Concerta 18 mg that have longer effects on concentration and many side effects)
I opted for the first thought point as the 2nd was more expensive and a riskier investment.
Alas, it didn't work and I felt really sad at that point in time as mistakes continued to persist.
The thought of quitting was there, but then another thought appeared which gave me a bit more motivation: “At least try to perform better before quitting, no one wants a poor testimonial or appraisal before heading into the next job right?”
Then one day, I did something that allowed me to finally get rid of imposter syndrome and got my mojo back.
How I overcame imposter syndrome and the powerful lessons I learnt from it
Remember the thoughts that I mentioned earlier before starting my new job at the law firm? Turns out those thoughts are what led me to falter my progress in this new job.
Nowadays, these old bad thoughts have been replaced by:
“Try to take meds whenever needed be and also try to take more initiative than the usual at the old place”
“Never be afraid to ask questions”
“Never be afraid to go through a tough day at work”
“Never take things for granted. Medicine is an investment and not an expense”
These thoughts played into shaping my mind to adopt a learner mindset and also to use my initiative and skills that I have gotten from before to know what to do on the spot.
Also, remember the powerful phrase mentioned earlier in the article-
"Don't think about what you SHOULD do, think about what you COULD do.”
So first, this is mentioned by my wonderful friend Amewsed who saw that I tend to say, " I should do this, I should do that”.
When I frame things as what I should do, my attention narrows to doing that one thing “correctly”. In that state, I stop noticing what else is happening around me: small details, alternative approaches, or signals that something needs adjusting. The pressure to do things the “right” way ends up limiting what I can actually see.
For me, the thinking pattern usually looks like this:
“Should” → pressure to be correct → narrowed attention → missed cues → more mistakes → more self-doubt.
She told me to rephrase it to “COULD”.
Reframing it as what I could do breaks that loop. It widens my field of view, allows me to take in more information, and gives me the flexibility to respond instead of locking myself into a single way of working.
Now, the thinking pattern for me becomes like this:
“Could” → awareness → adjustment → competence → confidence
In the end, I regained my mojo and got back to work in a high-spirited fashion! My imposter syndrome has now become a figment of the past.
So what are the lessons that one can draw from this story
Imposter syndrome is a psychological effect that can harm your confidence in an enormous way
It takes time and willingness to overcome it when you are down in the dumps.
To overcome it, look at what is available to you right now and what could you change about it or what insights can you gain from it?
But then what about the quitting part? Am I still going to quit?
The answer is a mystery, ever since I regained my confidence. But there is one thing I'm definitely sure of: there will be a new article whenever there is an extraordinary life journey! So keep your eyes peeled for it!
Also, it's great to be back again writing articles like this!
An ending phrase to end off this story:
“The mind and spirit are a much more powerful force to enact change onto oneself. Be aware of it, embrace it and use it with the right purposes!”